I Don't Want to Be Around My Family Anymore
Moving away from family or other loved ones to blaze your own path can feel like the most selfish affair in the world. Not getting to see my nephew grow up has been especially hard for me. I tear upwards often thinking of how much I've missed out on since I moved away four years agone – particularly effectually his birthday. I've wondered if my desire – my need – to leave my home town and move out of state to find a place of my own makes me a selfish wiggle.
Merely, what I've come to realize – and what I have to tell myself at times – is that it is quite the reverse. If you struggle with this as well, or peradventure you are considering never leaving because the guilt would be likewise much, here are iii reasons why you are non selfish for moving away.
There is null wrong with wanting More joy
"Why can't you just exist happy with what y'all have, you are so blessed." Maybe you've told yourself this besides – or someone else has. Merely, what I've come to understand, is that seeking joy is non something to feel guilty well-nigh, even if y'all already have a whole lot of it. And if something that makes someone else happy makes you lot miserable, that doesn't mean either of yous are wrong. Y'all just observe your joy in unlike places.
There is something to be said for finding joy where you are, no ane likes a Negative Nancy. Simply seeking out places that light up your soul is nothing to be ashamed of.
Why we moved away from home
I don't call up a fourth dimension that I ever loved living in my dwelling town in Florida. Certain I had skillful memories – a ton of them. But, never because information technology was an awesome place to live. I was never a beach person (non that type of embankment at least). And the bar scene (the main source of fun in that metropolis for adults) wasn't for me.
Zippo always stood out to me as worth sticking around for. Not to mention, the too-hot weather in the summer and as well-cold (surprising, I know) month of winter that didn't even carp to produce snow. I don't like to use this word, simply I hated it.
However, the mountains… the mountains brought me joy. And still practice. Being well-nigh them puts me at ease and hiking in them is my favorite matter in the whole world. When my husband, Buddy, and I first visited Colorado we barbarous in beloved with the weather, activities, people, mindset, and the stunning Rocky Mountains. We finally felt similar nosotros were where we belonged. And it is an amazing feeling that I notwithstanding cherish, fifty-fifty later four years of living here.
But the reality is, I volition probably always want more than from life. I honey my domicile now. But there are so many other places I want to feel and things I want to try. I recall God has a whole lot of joy he wants to send my way and I desire to be bachelor to soak up every 2nd of information technology – instead of hiding out, feeling guilty for wanting to devour it.
You miss them considering you lot love them, that'due south not a bad thing
I lived in the same town for 22 years before I moved. Everyone I loved dearest was in that town (or a few hours abroad). And almost of us had never traveled besides far from home. So, putting it in my rear-view mirror felt a lot like saying bye to all of those dear to me (except my married man, of course). But it is only goodbye to the ones who weren't REALLY in your life anyway.
Would I cry over missing my nephew's altogether if I didn't love him with all my heart? Would I worry I won't be there when my best friend 1 twenty-four hours picks out her wedding gown, if she wasn't important to me? And would I phone call my mom all the dang fourth dimension if I didn't love her a whole lot? Nope. I wouldn't.
And would my nephew leave me voicemails and send letters maxim how much he misses me if he hated my guts? No. Would my family and friends brand an try to come see me when I'm in town, or visit me in Colorado, if I wasn't important to them? Well, maybe they'd do it for the free Colorado vacay, but y'all get the point.
How moving away from family changes relationships
And, believe me, absence does make the eye abound founder. My all-time friend of xx years and I barely hung out or talked when I moved. We were merely busy with other things, but at present we talk weekly if not more. And when we see each other we have THE All-time time! It took being a thousand miles autonomously to realize how blessed nosotros were to take each other.
Nosotros miss our people because we love them dearly. And that is not a bad matter – don't let information technology be. Cry the tears. Simply don't feel guilty. You are not a bad person for loving them so much.
Striving to be a ameliorate person is a good thing
When my nephew was born I swore to myself that I would be a big office of his life. I would be someone he could always rely on. And I would brand sure he knew how much I loved him. Even with the altitude, I've worked difficult to keep that promise. And I try to run into him at least once a year, if non more than.
Offering more to the ones you love
And, while wanting to be a reliable form of support for your loved ones is a groovy goal, what if yous could offering even more? What if by finding out who you lot are, following your dreams and making the most of your life, y'all could inspire the people you love to do the aforementioned? What if you were non only someone your friends and family could rely on, only someone they respected and admired?
I didn't desire my nephew to think of me as his grumpy aunt who argued with her husband all the time, was overweight and drank as well much. That was the life I saw ahead of me in Florida. Staying in that town I grew up in was suffocating my dreams and sense of take chances. And I knew it as it was happening.
I was aroused that I was still there, unmotivated to brand the most of each day and pretty certain Buddy and I were on a path to 1 day kill each other out of sheer colorlessness. Never underestimate the dangers of boredom.
Leading by instance
Just now I like who I am. I'm still a work in progress. But I'yard someone my nephew can be proud to call his Auntie. And his Uncle Buddy has grown into a pretty awesome guy besides!
On a recent trip to visit my favorite kiddo, we were playing tag and he said "Even though you climb mountains, I'm still faster than you." I'thousand the Aunt who climbs mountains. I'm the Aunt that sends him postcards from awesome places he's never seen. I'm the one who has goals and dreams I'm not afraid to reach for, who has the blazon of marriage I only pray he can have one mean solar day – filled with adventures and so much laughter.
I wish with all my heart I could have become this person without having to miss out on so much of his life. Only I honestly don't think I could have grown this much without forging my ain path. And my wedlock probably wouldn't be this strong if nosotros hadn't taken off on our own to make a life we love.
Luckily, most of our family and friends totally support our crazy dreams. But for an eight-yr-former, these ideas are a bit too deep to grasp. I merely hope one twenty-four hour period my nephew gets it. And earlier then, I'll keep sharing my adventures with him and making the almost of the time we do have together. After all, the all-time office about finding joy, is sharing it.
2019 Update: Afterward getting a ton of comments and messages from people going through like challenges about feeling selfish for moving away, I wrote a follow-upwards piece with the lessons nosotros've learned from our now multiple experiences with moving away: 'The Truth About Moving Away.' We hope you lot find these new insights helpful as well!
Source: https://www.trailingaway.com/not-selfish-moving-away/
0 Response to "I Don't Want to Be Around My Family Anymore"
Post a Comment